Actually there is no race report at all. It was pouring rain, I had no legs, and was on pace for three hours of racing. I recognized that flogging myself and my bike for 3 hours to get last place was not conducive to what I really care about (smashing Great Glen the following weekend), so I dropped out with zero remorse.
Jay Mueller properly epic-ified my experience with this picture, which is really the reason I decided to post anything at all.
"Heyyyyy, that sucked"