Friday, March 13, 2009

Obligatory March Training Post, Round 2

So last year I made fun of the interblogs with the Do It Yourself March Training Post. It was a huge success, except that it only alienated a few readers. Let's see if this year's edition can succeed in going even more negative!

Even Earlier, Much Whinier, Spring Training Post Template

Alright, it's early March and I am just SO SICK of winter. I'd like to [do something horrible] to that [unoriginal personification of a season]. I mean, it was [high number] degrees last week, and now it's only [seasonal average] degrees now, what gives? [Global warming|my trip to Tucson] can't get here soon enough! Every time I think [it's spring|winter ended 6 weeks early], it comes back with a [vengeance|completely normal weather pattern], like last week when we got [number less than 3] inches of snow. I just [don't understand|can't take it|love complaining]! I've been riding the [trainer|rollers] at night since [November|December|January] because [I hate my life|I paid for coaching], and let me tell you, I am really sick of [looking at my washing machine|sweating on my rug|frightening my roommates]. But it will all be worth it when I [burn out in May|kick all your asses] on my new [bike that is 1% better than my old bike|wheels that cost more than your car].

Although, I did manage to watch all [number] seasons of [tv series that would suck if I wasn't on a trainer], which you should totally check out.

So anyway, last weekend I did this [epic] mile ride with [link to blogger|link to picture|link to crossresults.com profile] and [someone you don't care enough about to link]. Of course [person you don't like as much] didn't have fenders, so I [ate|chewed|gargled] several pounds of road salt, but it was just great be outside.

Well, except for the [SUV|minivan] driver who was a total [expletive] in [town], I can't believe how impatient and unsafe some people out there are!! As if it's going to kill you to wait [10 seconds|10 minutes] behind [me|me and eight of my oblivious friends riding nine-abreast]. And when he finally quit honking and passed us, he only gave me [1 foot|6 feet] of space, god only know what would have happened if [he didn't know how wide his vehicle was|I randomly swerved across the road]!

Anyway, I didn't want this post to be [so negative|so long|published at all], but [other blog(s)] have been [noticing|complaining about|contributing to] the general lack of early-March content in the blogosphere. It's almost like [no one's racing|you can only write about the trainer so much|most bloggers aren't professional writers for a reason]! So here's your content. See you at [Wells Ave|King of Burlingame|the bar]...

6 comments:

rosey 3/13/2009 9:49 PM  

hey wait a minute, are you saying i'm one of those guys who bitches/rants all winter long? wasn't i out there mountain biking with you in the snow instead of riding the trainer?

oh well, see you on the trails when you finally finish that silly skiing problem.

Ryank 3/13/2009 11:22 PM  

I feel like eighty percent of that post was aimed at me. But that's probably because my life isn't as exciting as yours.

Right now I'm in the car on the way to south carolina, scanning the radio for any dance station I can find. Because I love annoying the driver.

Colin R 3/14/2009 8:07 AM  

Nah Ryan...its like 50 percent, tops.

Cathy 3/14/2009 9:06 PM  

Yeah - I'm guilty too. Crud.

gewilli 3/16/2009 10:03 AM  

anyone who is alienated - well what are they going to do? Cut back on your ad revenue? Stop subscribing?

that's retarded... who cares who's reading...

and i think i see a decent splatter of a lot of folks in there...

Kathy 3/20/2009 11:03 AM  

Nailed it. Me too. :-(

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