Inside the Mind of an Invalid Biker

"You're getting slower."

It started the third day after I wrecked my knee. It's still going strong today, and probably won't shut up until I lose my fear of pedaling more than twenty minutes at a time.

"You're getting slower."

The voice has no need to be reasonable. By the time you've reach this level of paranoia, quelling it with reality is utterly impossible. Who cares how many professional cyclists have managed to break collarbones, miss weeks of the season and come back to success -- the voice has me convinced that my mountain bike season is going up in flames, before my very eyes, as I sit here on my seventh straight day of doing nothing.

"You're getting slower."

My body is adjusting to the new, sedentary lifestyle of having a bad knee. I used to ride to work, now I take the subway. I used to need breakfast. Now I can eat nothing until 1 PM -- my metabolism's given up being ready to ride at a moment's notice. You don't burn many calories sitting at a desk, no matter how much coffee you drink or websites you program.

"You're getting slower."

The Gap Ride was this weekend. I drove the sag wagon. I watched other people train. It was great. The voice wouldn't shut up.

Tomorrow I'm gonna try riding again. Twenty minutes to work, twenty back. Easy as pie. Maybe if I focus on that, I can get the gnawing voice to JUST. SHUT. UP. for a bit.

Yeah.

24 hours to go. Just focus on that...

...

"What if it isn't better?"

Aw, fuck.

Comments

solobreak said…
You could work on those pullups...
5/13/2009 6:13 AM
Cary said…
CX season is...how many weeks away? 15? You've told me before all you really care about is CX. Not true? Maybe the injury is a blessing in disguise forcing you to rest.
5/13/2009 9:29 AM
Hill Junkie said…
You should be well rested and healed by May 23. Come out for the Hill Junkie 6-Gaps ride. We have the most eclectic group yet, including a former pro MTBer, a guy with 2nd fastest time at D2R2 last year, another that finished 5th at the Tuckerman Inferno Pentathlon in '08, a hillclimb weenie that finished 10th overall on Mt Washington last year, and others. Ought to be quite the slugfest.
5/13/2009 11:12 AM
solobreak said…
Hilljunkie branches out into physical therapy, specializing in injured-knee rehabilitation. His unconventional approach is sure to revolutionize the PT industry...
5/13/2009 12:07 PM
IMA said…
Get yourself some A.R.T. therapy.
Active Release Technique is covered by most health insurance plans. I had painful over-use issues last spring and 4 sessions of Active Release was all it took to clear it up. I was able to continue training at the same intensity, with some reduced volume.
http://www.activerelease.com/
5/14/2009 1:14 AM
Alex said…
You know, you could try doing other activities than biking, just to stay in shape. Swimming (you can do just the arm part by putting a floaty thing between your knees), rollerskiing (double poling?), machine-things at a gym... you don't have to totally sit around. You're doing the smart thing, though - resting. I'm impressed...
5/14/2009 10:30 AM
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